1. |
Ketamine Girl I
04:49
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On Sunday evening the days became clear
Nothing of this moment, nothing of the future
Could rifle attention or ring in chiming ears
A feeling of empty, kneeling to what could be
In a ten foot mirror, they carve their bodies into dust
Shreds of trailing pink, with t-shirt and black jeans
A journey of belonging, sculptures and offers
The same people as before, the same power driving in
The same inlet to explore, new scar upon his chin
I’ve taken to imperfection, I just can’t find the words
They lie in this obsession. They lie with the absurd
Little birds that flew through rays
Holding on to every word, to every tune, to everyone
Holding onto feathers that catch and crave the drop
They swoop and gather echoes that never breathe
Am I holding too much, is there some other voice
That I haven’t yet heard, that I can’t understand
I return to the night you were holding his hand
At the top of the stairs in the corner by the chairs,
they share a pill
He drops his finger and unbuttons, the plane of
panting bodies
Throbbing she never comes, but the doors are open
The flood spreads and in this vacuum bodies swarm
to their shoulders
Is she a girl like every other, in his head breaking free
He was told not to trust, she’ll ask for too much
She kneels over his body and kisses, the span of torsos
In each of their arms a wave flows and wraps
Hands reach for their skin, they want to join in
You’re beautiful…
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2. |
Rhythm Chamber
05:09
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Rhythm moving through a darkened chamber
Flirting with a hidden breathing stranger
Calling on a deep and summoned nature
Shrinking to a reeling unknown danger
In the corner of this darkened room
Masked men surround their petition
And she holds his secret plea
A masked man drops to his knees
Kissing bodies kneeling down before me
Hold me closer, feel me moving slowly
Moaning, dripping over-reaching entries
Rhythm moving, hold me down, torment me
On his knees, he takes our boy
And rattles with his tongue
She bites him on the shoulder
Dragging him to come.
In the darkness, she was speaking Spanish
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro
Fingers, touching, enter every vessel
Feel him, coming, coming, coming
Bodies sway in the dark, they move away
Back down the stairs, they feel it rising
The music’s rising, wait for it, it’s coming
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3. |
Bravado
04:50
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Seeking listless creepers that haven’t reached a thing
Behind red walls they connect
They say a new age is coming, teaching
us to care
But holding onto intention
Reflect the changes, the timeless questions
The intention of man to expect
They inundate, they speak their mind
But we’re not taking answers
Diversions on the road, egalitarian versions
They say distribution can come, but they’re not willing to look
At the misled within, the role we play in identity diversion
Spit and check the colour of inward stains
Bravado on the streets, ignorance on the faces
Bow at your feet and accept the wires
Society built to protect us from the naïve
Progressive ideas of this is who we are, without introspection
And look there’s an idiot sitting on a throne
And I can’t believe he got there
He was positive, he was aggressive
But my good heart will propel
The contradictory man, contradicted acceptance
You don’t have the answers, saturate your vision
Keep saying the answers, keep reeling through disaster
The only disaster is when reality slips so far away
Bravado on the streets, ignorance on the faces
We’re all good people who haven’t
done a thing
Except crawl through the tunnel that we were crumpled in
Dive through your weakness, the thing you need is jagged
Depend on integrity, the truth is not a given
And that comment that you made
Should be buried in a grave with the righteous
Walk into a cafe and play your role
And never take a step from your direction
Fuck your knowledge and fuck your insecurity too
It was all designed to screw you
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4. |
Big Boyz
04:18
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Who’s your man sitting there at the bar
He’s been calling people names
He’s on a treadmill
Of ridicule and prestige
He says you’ve fallen
From your perch on the floor
He’s breathing down your neck
He’s asking for more
Big boys
Give me your flavour
Shake the beans
Rattle the process
Fix the seeds
To my name
To my esteem
To my calling
You know it’s me
Big boys
I’m sniffing the garbage
And feeling it crawl
Falling away, dripping to my teeth
There is no other
I’m sailing away
To the shore out of your reach
I’m coming to meet you
My boys, big boys
I scribble the entry
I reject the ploy
I lament the witness
I cement the joy
I’m holding you closer
I’m pulling the reins
I’m coming to meet you
My boys, big boys
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5. |
Ketamine Girl III
03:33
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She looked at her phone to see where she’d been
Condensed in the early hours, feathers
Line a trail and form at her feet
Glares of neon reflect her face into silence
Where is my Ketamine Boy?
What took him away?
A message from friends, they’ve been taking cocaine
She laughs and giggles to deflect
Nothing’s going to take away this feeling
It’s rising in her skin
Paranoia, where had she been?
It was too much ketamine, and the thump is swallowed
Into this hole, that nobody enters, and she can’t control
What are you doing? You shouldn’t be here
You should have gone home, what the fuck are you doing?
It’s ten in the morning and the people walk passed
All those people that she kissed, all those bodies that she kissed
And they look as if to say you shouldn’t be here
You should have gone home
Go the fuck home, what’s happening?
And the boy’s gone away, he’s with some other girl
And they said it was love, just for tonight, I love you
Tears come in her eyes, but it’s not from sadness
Go the fuck home, she scratches her skin
Keep taking your lines, keep drinking, just one more
Go the fuck home
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6. |
Transition
05:40
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Risen from the morsels, shaken from the ground
That left me planted
And whispered the profound understanding
Of growing seeds and empty pockets
We don’t believe the visions of intention
You slip away on rising smoke
Our bodies decay and view the distance
To which your face belongs
And fades amongst the wishes
You can’t be touched
A train moves through sun-brown and transpires
I read the signs, I see the vision, so far away
You can’t be touched, and I don’t want to
I got myself into this state to connect
But the songs you’re singing
And the boy tying up your hair
It can't go on, not in this place
Remove me and let me return.
In a café that fuels the inversion
On paths where sun-glassed pupils search
You make coffee and joke with friends
I think you saw me, under lines of
separation
Disappeared and underfed
Do you know what I’ve been looking for?
Do you know that the game is coming to an end?
I took the first steps into something new
I stood on stage and performed for you
I slept through devastation, in a golden tent
In dreams that can’t be meant
Confusion strewn over misgiving
The path wanders and leads to a satisfied bench
And the half-glance seeming recognition
Were you in that crowd of sympathy?
The words couldn’t come from my mouth
I move to my own, the sun pours on a couch
There’s children dancing, and we talk of something else
A hundred people move through the country
Bikes and tents and spoons hanging from a string
To a train overflowing, take me back to Berlin.
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7. |
Ok Boy
03:34
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There’s a lot of falseness going around
And I’ve been trying to capture
With words that seem too hard
Instead of just letting it
And it’s easy to get caught up in everything
When your mind is somewhere else
I keep on meeting these girls
And I put too much pressure
To take it somewhere else
I’ve been listening too much
To every man who was my teacher
And every whisper in my ear
And I miss you
I miss the smell of your skin
And we’ll both move on
And we’ll say it didn’t mean a thing
But I hold the moments between us
In the highest regard
And I know that I won’t get it back
Cos I’ve been trying too hard
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8. |
After Ok Boy
08:57
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9. |
Final Act
05:50
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The light came down
And the evening faded
The final act had dissipated
So I lay
In some moment
Between Him and who I was
Words replace the memory
For the stilling of my mind
Contains a hidden reverie
And the thoughts I left behind
Am I insane for the pain in which I dealt?
Am I to blame for the altar on which I knelt?
Am I alone in this room
Where I have summoned genius?
The deepest longing comes too soon
I must be dreaming
Of those dizzy heights
I must be dreaming
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